Goddess Games by A Lonergan

Author:A Lonergan [Lonergan, A]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2017-04-07T23:00:00+00:00

Chapter 16

Jessa

I wrapped my arms tightly around Crawley’s shoulders and held on while he walked through the snow. I tried to feel something but I just felt numb. I hadn't wanted to leave but I knew it would be the best thing for Shaskia and her people. She had to protect them and so did I. I left a part of my heart in that clearing with all of those people. The other part of my heart was out there somewhere with my mother now that I understood what she had gone through for me.

She hadn't been absent to hurt me or because she didn't love me. She just didn't have a choice. She had always been protecting me in the best way she knew how. I knew I would have done the same thing.

I tried to hold onto Crawly but my arms went slack as I was forced into another memory.

“Boyfriends are a no, Jessa.” My mother had a spoon in her hand and kept her eyes on the sauce boiling on the stove.

I leaned forward and cocked my head at her. “And why not?” My voice held a very rude tone but Mother chose to ignore it this time.

“For starters, you’re way too young.” I could feel my eyes twitching as I tried to keep myself from rolling them. “And because babies aren’t wanted.” Confusion filled me as my mother finally looked at me. “Artemis will protect you for a short while after you have a baby, but that’s all she can offer to you and a newborn. At least, that’s how it went with me. We’ve been extremely fortunate.”

“Does she do that for everyone? Why would it just be us?”

“The same reason why you’ve trained so hard but no longer have to. Hopefully, we won’t have to worry about this for much longer.” Mother winked at me and began to stir her sauce again.

I blinked and found myself in Crawley’s arms; he was cradling me as he trudged through the snow. I didn’t know why the conversation with my mother had started that way but I knew that I had been way too young for it. I felt anger toward her once more. I couldn’t believe she had told me that at such a young age and then had the memory locked up as if it never happened.

I wondered for a brief moment if she knew that she was going to erase my memories and didn’t think it would matter. I wondered if she knew all along that it didn’t matter what she was told me because the odds of me remembering it were slim.

As I started feeling the changes in my body, I knew what I needed to do. I had to stop feeling; I had to stop wanting. I knew that it affected Crawley, but he acted indifferent, almost like he was ignoring me. It bothered me but I knew it was for the best. A baby wouldn't help us, even if it would offer protection for a short while.

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